The Greatest Joke

12 11 2007

I woke up this morning, and while completing my booting process (takes around 5 mins, average) started to think in what would be the biggest prank ever, something so complex, so crazy, so… interesting, that the moment the punchline arrives, i wouldn’t be there since a long long time.

Things are always misinterpreted when they are taken out of context. Now, while you ponder this simple truth, you might also think about archeology. Archeologists look for the remains of civilizations that have been dead for quite some time now. They discover objects, places, customs, whatever they can find about them in a neverending quest to discover things we may have forgotten. The problem I see with it is that those objects, places, customs are to be seen without their acompanying context, since we cannot always be 100% sure they mean whatever we think they mean, unless we get to do some time traveling to confirm, but that would take about half of the fun about it and implementation is left as an exercise to the reader.

Taking this into account: what’s to stop me from writing some scrolls (or other high durability media, digital formats suck at this) and leave them hidden as a message to future alcheologists to discover? What if i write into it something in the lines of “The Cult of the Black Screen of Death”? What if said scrolls generates some kind of new religion in the future based on the age-old premise of “going back to the old ways”? Raw, Unadulterated Madness… me says.

This, of couse, assumes that something not entirely unlike World War III will eventually happen… and that in happening, will cause such a collapse on civilization as we know it, so as for we to go back into some kind of dark ages? (a “Mad Max”-esque situation, if you are so inclined).

The problem with this dependency, is that if you check, you will a dangerous trend into which our weapons technology level keeps rising, but our common sense stays constant or goes down (i’m looking at you: US of A). Thus, the more time it takes for WW3 to come, the greater the disaster will be, unless the common sense rating starts going up again, but that never happens. It looks like us humans haven’t separated that much from monkeys, and we still have that pesky tendency of always looking for a better club with which to hit some other monkey’s head.

Forget about the better mouse trap, the club is what this is all about.

DISCLAIMER: This is a product of my deranged imagination and I admit that my coffee tasted funny this morning.

Do you have any other similar, crazy ideas?

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Horrible ice-breaking tactic

4 06 2007

So, I was having a happy day today: woke up late since both my cell phone and palm failed to wake me up (yes, i chain them with a 7 minutes difference between them, 2 alarms on the cell phone spread with t – 15 mins and t + 5 mins, where t is the time i want to wake up at minus 10 minutes), got late to work, played sudoku on my trusty ol’ palm, did some regression testing on Google Reader and was blasting away with some nice Heavy Metal music on my trusty ol’ phone (SE K750i, with 2gb storage, if you care) and eventually something not entirely unlike work appeared near 11am. I attribute this happiness to the fact that i didn’t read any news during the weekend, so my faith in Humanity didn’t drop too much, which gets me down sometimes. I tell you, Humanity never fails to surprise me.

I go out to eat with Karen and Mae to Taco Bell (yeah, not real mexican food, but it’s near work). We do a very long line and order our food. Mae gets to scout out a table and promptly snatches one. We get our food and start eating. So far so good, right? WRONG! About 5-10 minutes into the Nutrient Adquisition Proccess, a dude and a dudette sit in the table near us. Nothing bad there, they are waiting for their order # to get served in order to… eat it.

It seems they are cow-orkers or something and the dude is looking for some way to stop the ackward moment full of silence. He looks into his invoice and sees (i suspect) that he ordered a ‘Burrito’. The guy starts singing this x-mas song: “Con mi burrito sabanero, voy camino de belen…”. I, on the other side, feel a spike on my weird-o-meter and promptly reboot into single user mode. The poor Mae, was not so lucky. Karen says something, but i can’t hear her (i’m in safe mode).

After i though it was safe, i got back and saw that the guy had left to pick his order up. I think the dudette wanted to kill herself. That has to be the worst way of breaking the ice i have ever… not heard. I didn’t even dare to look at the dude after he got back (i have a rule of not looking at people before killing them), but man… this was worse than ridiculous… it was pathetic.

Before he got back, we were into staying and have a little rest and not go back to work so early. We ran like hell when we saw him walking back.

Total Loss: 5% of my remaining faith in our future as a species. This dude will eventually get some girl (not the one in the story, i bet) and reproduce like rabits. And remember… those kids will be the future. I’m feeling depressed again…





New Section: Things to Avoid

4 06 2007

I have created a new section on this site for things/experiences that i have done/experienced/seen/hear about/hurt while doing something else that i feel that people should be warned about.

This idea came to me while looking for something to watch on TV. My father offered me a ‘Pera Criolla’ for me to taste them (evil grin on his face)… now that’s what i call a wicked taste. At the same time, they began showing an old Michael Jackson movie on TV… The Dude must have something against me, i tell you.

Anyways, feel free to provide any additions to the list in the comments section of said page.





30 Minutes of Ownage

27 05 2007

Simply Awesome 🙂





What is terrorism?

14 05 2007

Check this comic out… so true that it’s funny, so funny that it’s sad.